Suburban Deer Hunting Tips:

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Woods Walker
Posts: 4970
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 10:21 am
Location: Northern Illinois

Suburban Deer Hunting Tips:

Postby Woods Walker » Sun Sep 21, 2008 4:09 pm

The following was posted on another hunting site last year, and it's about the funniest hunting information I've ever read! I grew up in New Jersey, so I can relate!  [:)]
"OK, I've decided to spill my guts. I'm sure many of you will be skeptical but I know this stuff works.
Ive been culling for a local police dept for the last few years, on VERY small woodlots in developed (to say the least) suburban areas in NJ.
Consider: I live on 70,000 acres of federal land on the Delaware river where I've killed a pile of deer, and I'm driving 1 1/2 hrs through rush hour traffic to hunt deer in the suburbs.
I can watch TV through peoples' windows. Sometimes I even bring my own remote so I can change channels.
Old women have approached me and asked if I would shoot the deer eating their roses. I think the 50 or so deer I've killed in the last couple years is evidence enough to support my tips. Don't get all indignant. The cops threatened to get in white RINO if we archers didn't kill enough, so we can hunt 'em like rabbits with a clear conscience. Ok here goes:
1. Stalk as the corporate jets are taking off. They'll never hear you. Traffic noise, sirens, church bells and loudspeakers from car dealers also work.
2. Carry a leaf blower and the deer will think you're a Mexican and ignore you.
3. Try a ghillie suit. I killed one from the ground at about 30 inches! My arrow barely cleared the shelf. I got splattered. They really don't get it.
(NOTE: I hunt on the ground in a ghillie suit, and this is TRUE! They don't get it!!!)
4. When blood trailing, listen for the sound of hooves on the pavement. It's audible for a long way. Don't forget to check the sides of parked vehicles for blood.
5. Gasoline makes a great cover scent.
6. Where multiple deer are legal, always shoot the lead doe first. The rest of them are helpless.
7. Never accept money from people who want you to hunt in their yards(lunch is OK). Word will spread and you'll have more places to hunt and more free lunches.


Posts: 1114
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 10:06 am

RE: Suburban Deer Hunting Tips:

Postby DeanoZ » Fri Oct 10, 2008 8:38 am

Being from Jersey I can also relate...great stuff Woods Walker, and quite true, lol!  I'm so trying the gas as a cover scent!

User avatar
Woods Walker
Posts: 4970
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 10:21 am
Location: Northern Illinois

RE: Suburban Deer Hunting Tips:

Postby Woods Walker » Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:11 pm

I found this to be gut-wrenchingly funny, but apparently not too many others do. Like you said, if you've ever lived and hunted in NJ, it is SOOOO funny because a lot of it is TRUE!!!

I guess if you haven't lived it, it seems too far-fetched to be true
Hunt Hard,

Kill Swiftly,

Waste Nothing,

Offer No Apologies.....

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