How to stop a BEAR Attach!!!!

[U.P.Hunter]

I use the Tonya Harding Survival Method - travel with a companion (not a friend) and carry a tire iron.

When you see a bear take the tire iron whack him in the knee caps and slowly back away. His screams of pain should draw the bear to him and allow you to escape!

On the way to the ranger station to report the attack, fling the tire iron in the bushes, no need for difficult questions


Dave

[bwhntr]

That might work, I would just run. I don't have to run as fast as my companion, I'll just trip him, and keep on running. That should slow the bear down enough for me to get away.
 
[:)]

[Challenger]

ORIGINAL: U.P.Hunter

I use the Tonya Harding Survival Method - travel with a companion (not a friend) and carry a tire iron.

When you see a bear take the tire iron whack him in the knee caps and slowly back away. His screams of pain should draw the bear to him and allow you to escape!

On the way to the ranger station to report the attack, fling the tire iron in the bushes, no need for difficult questions

Dave

Good Lord you guys are mean. No need to injure a friend. I always carry a couple of slices of deer jerky (you can use beef) and an acorn with me.

If a bear starts to attack, throw the jerky at his feet. When he bends down to eat the jerky, you stick the acorn in his ear. While he's going nuts trying to get the acorn out of his ear ... you just slip away. [8D]

[fasteddie]

I try to take someone along that I can outrun . [8|] Better yet take along someone you can outrun and also owe money to ...............slip some raw meat in his pockets when he's not looking . [:-]

[Everyday Hunter]

ORIGINAL: fasteddie

[size="3"][size="2"]I try to take someone along that I can outrun . [8|] Better yet take along someone you can outrun and also owe money to ...............slip some raw meat in his pockets when he's not looking . [/size][:-][/size]

Anyone ever see a bear run? I had one walk up to 5 feet from me once while I was calling a turkey. Sitting on the ground, my eyes were at the same level as his. He seemed to sense that something wasn't quite right and I seemed to have a keen awareness of where the safety was on my turkey shotgun. As he swung his head around his eyes locked on mine -- that's all he could see because I was wearing a camo headnet.

He blinked, woofed, and sprang out of there, covering 50 yards in about 2 seconds.

Lesson: Bears run fast. You'll never outrun one.
Common sense observation: If a bear's hostile intentions may override your evil intentions. In other words, if a bear has to chase you and your slower buddy, what's to say triggering his chase instinct won't mean he runs by your broken legged buddy and keep chasing you.
Unintended consequence: He'll catch you, and your buddy won't be able to do anything about it.

Steve

[Sailfish]

ORIGINAL: Challenger


[color="#006600"][size="3"]Good Lord you guys are mean. No need to injure a friend. I always carry a couple of slices of deer jerky (you can use beef) and an acorn with me.

If a beer starts to attack, throw the jerky at his feet. When he bends down to eat the jerky, you stick the acorn in his ear. While he's going nuts trying to get the acorn out of his ear ... you just slip away.[/size][/color] [8D]

Funny.
Reminds me of the method on how to catch a polar bear.


Get a can of peas.

Go out on the ice and cut a hole in the ice just large enough for a polar bear.

Open the can of peas, and place them individually lining the entire edge of the hole.

Hide and wait.

When the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

[Challenger]

ORIGINAL: Everyday Hunter

ORIGINAL: fasteddie

[size="3"][size="2"]I try to take someone along that I can outrun . [8|] Better yet take along someone you can outrun and also owe money to ...............slip some raw meat in his pockets when he's not looking . [/size][:-][/size]

Lesson: Bears run fast. You'll never outrun one.
In other words, if a bear has to chase you and your slower buddy, what's to say triggering his chase instinct won't mean he runs by your broken legged buddy and keep chasing you.

Steve

Steve, I'm pretty sure Fasteddie was joking. We all know a bear can outrun most men.

That's why you have to distract the bear while you slip that acorn into it's ear. Absolutely drives them nuts. Really!

But, you know, joking or not, Fasteddie's plan really does have some merit ... especially the part about bringing along, someone you owe money to. [;)]

[mightyfofaad]

ORIGINAL: Sailfish

Reminds me of the method on how to catch a polar bear.


Get a can of peas.

Go out on the ice and cut a hole in the ice just large enough for a polar bear.

Open the can of peas, and place them individually lining the entire edge of the hole.

Hide and wait.

When the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

[fasteddie]

Gosh and Golly ........ I thought the whole thread was a joke .[8|]..[8|] Helllllllllloooooooooooo ![:)][:)][:)]

[kribbz]

ORIGINAL: Challenger

If a beer starts to attack, throw the jerky at his feet. When he bends down to eat the jerky, you stick the acorn in his ear. While he's going nuts trying to get the acorn out of his ear ... you just slip away. [8D]

When beers start to attack my wife is usually telling me it's time to leave the bar!   [:D][:D][:D]