This is a hunting cabin. It is kept for the weekend amusement of our family and their friends. We’re a bunch of financially-strapped suburbanites who can’t afford decent vacations. Please leave our stuff alone. We have intentionally left this place worthless so that it would be of no value to anyone but ourselves. If you wish to enjoy it, please come and introduce yourself and become our friends. We will invite you in and you can share the fellowship that is the real treasure of this place.
This cabin does not contain
• Appliances or fixtures costing over $100
• Alcohol, tobacco, or controlled substances
• Prescription drugs
• Industrial solvents worth huffing
• Guns or ammunition
• Magazines with pictures of unclothed women
In short: anything of value leaves with us when we drive-off on Sunday afternoon.
This cabin does contain:
• A personal computer pulled out of the trash and repaired—value less than $25
• A boom box with a busted CD player.
• Canned goods that people bring us that we don’t eat.
• A few power tools, some of which were purchased during the Ford Administration. One came from Eisenhower's first term.
• A lot of camouflage clothing—all of it cheap
• Dinnerware that came from dead relatives and Walmart
• Magazines with pictures of naked deer and turkeys
• Furniture that was pulled from other peoples’ trash
• A fascinating little surprise built around a 10 GA shotgun shell You get to guess where they’re hidden. My buddy says it won’t work, but I tried it out on an old phone book, and you should see the results!
Anything of value stored in the barns, probably isn’t ours, and we’d be as surprised as you to find it. There’s a lock on the curing shed to keep the kids from playing inside. You will need a chainsaw to get in. Please be assured there is nothing of value within.
There now, we’ve given you an inventory of our cabin and saved you the trouble of breaking in just to be disappointed (or worse). Please return the favor for now by leaving.
The Shamanic Dream Team
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