I guess it was about . . . What year did Hulu start up? I dunno. I was coming back from over around south of Columbus. There was that freak storm that hit fairly early in the season. I decided to go up to Columbus and then over 70 to Dayton and then drop down to Cincinnati. I 71 was buried is all I remember. I got to the south side of Dayton, and had to hole up at this dive of a motel there in . . . the place were the big Delco plant closed, Moraine? Yeah. That was about as far south as I could get before the snow got ahead of the plows.
I've got this deer. He wasn't exactly huge, but in that much snow he was a lot to handle. I asked the guy at the desk if he had a first floor room. All he had left was one with a Jacuzzi for $20 dollars more a night. I tell him I have a deer, and I ask the guy if its okay. . . okay if I. . . well you know. He says I can have the upper floor room, but I would have to leave the deer in the back of the truck, so I offer to split the difference with him on the Jacuzzi room and he relents. I figure everthing's jake, right?
The neat thing is this guy's got Wi-Fi in every room. That was a rarity in those days, and I've got the work laptop with me with the good screen. It's one of those old Sony Vaio things. It was so big, I couldn't open it up on the plane. It did have a nice picture though-- it was a toss-off from the President of the company. My boss got it for her, but she said it was too heavy to carry. So I get in, get set up with the Vaio on the table. I'd stopped off at a Church's chicken I saw near the exit and had gotten a bucket, and there was liquor store close by. I'd stopped in and gotten some Scotch.
Oh, so I'm coming out of Church's, and I can't find the freakin' keys. I'm standing there with snow up to my knees, and three big guys from the neighborhood start coming at me. I think I've had it, but it turned out I had my car keys in the wrong pocket, and I'm frantically fumbling around in my coat and find them at what I think is the last second I can get clean away. I put the keys up to the sky and yell "Thank you, Lord! I knew you would not let the righteous fall!" and the three guys stop dead in their tracks and all of them start praising the Saviour. It turns out they were on their way to Bible Study across the street at the church, and instead of meaning to do me harm, they were coming buy to look at the deer. We exchanged a few God-Bless-You's and other pleasantrys and after a few admirable comments about the deer, they go on, and I got the heck out of there.
So I'm where was I? Oh, yeah. I get into the room, get the Vaio hooked up so it faces the Jacuzzi and hop in with a stiff scotch and some lemonade I got out of the machine next door to the room. I fire up Hulu, and guess what was one of the first movies they had on Hulu? Escanaba in the Moonlight. I'd never seen it, and outside of the commercials hitting every now and again, I get a pretty good stream and very few break-ups, and I have a pretty good time watching the movie.
I remember the funniest thing that night, that buck found the courtesy bar and well, you know how they are with the macadamia nuts, right? Well, I'd made the mistake of letting that buck have a little bit of the scotch and then he noses open the little fridge and catches sight of the macadamia nuts. It was great up until then-- that and when he finally figured out what the movie was about. Deer are slow to catch on to those things. They don't know about what we do at deer camp, and he was totally taken in by the talk of aliens and that. . . Gawd, that was funny when I started singing with the movie "Swing lo, Sweet chariot. . ." Deer get all weird when you start singing with the screen.
So anyhow there was quite a bit of a row that night, and that little Indian fellow got really honked off and wanted to charge me double occupancy on the room-- because of the deer, right? I told him to take a hike. Luckily he didn't know about the macadamia nuts, otherwise that would have been another ten- spot. I got the lid back on the jar, and didn't hang around for the continental breakfast. I got out of there early and laid up at the rest stop there north of Tylersville for morning rush to clear out before heading home.
Take it from me, the shaman, when you're deer hunting, make sure you hide the macadamia nuts.
The comic, Larry Miller, once said, "I can go on like this until I annoy even myself."