Joke of the Day

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woodsalta
 
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Location: Framingham, MA

Re: Joke of the Day

Postby woodsalta » Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:40 am

Three nuns were going for a walk in the park. During their walk they sat down on a park bench to take in the wonderful day. All of a sudden a man jumps out of the bushes in a long trenchcoat and exposes himself to the nuns..the first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun couldn't reach!

Q. What kind of meat do Priests eat during lent?
A. Nun
A man with a gun is a citizen, a man without a gun is a subject.

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kellory
 
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Location: Ohio

Re: Joke of the Day

Postby kellory » Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:01 pm

What shoe is named after something you will never see? Nunn's bush. If you see , she ain't. ;)
The only real difference between a good tracker and a bad tracker is observation. All the same data is present for both. The rest is understanding what you are seeing.

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Buck Commander
 
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Buck Commander » Wed Feb 01, 2012 4:09 pm

:)

Reverend Father Robert just loved to play golf. He tried to play every
weekend if his schedule allowed him. Then, during the summer of 2007,
strong rains took over the area every day for months. Every Saturday
morning the preacher would wake up and it would still be raining out.

Then one Sunday morning, Robert woke up and the sun was out.
Not a cloud in sight and it was a cool 75 degrees outside. He decided
he just had to go play golf today. He called up the Associate Pastor
and told him that he wasn't feeling well and asked if he could fill in
for him. The Associate Pastor gladly said yes and wish him to get
well soon. It was then, Robert loaded up his clubs and set off for a
golf course that was 50 miles away. This way, he was sure not to run
into anyone he knew.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was
Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while
looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not
going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not. "

Just then Father Robert hit the ball and it shot straight toward
the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.
It was a 400 yard hole in one!

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why
did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied,"Who is he going to tell?"

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Woods Walker
 
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Location: Northern Illinois

Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Woods Walker » Wed Feb 01, 2012 5:17 pm

Three middle aged golfers were starting to play the first hole of the day. The first two teed off and the third was getting ready to tee off when suddenly he stopped, took his cap off bent and bent his head down as a funeral procession went on by.

The first two golfers looked at each other in puzzlement, and then one said to the one that bowed his head.....

"Gee Bill, we didn't know you were so sentimental."

To which Bill replied.......

"Hey, that's the least I can do. Afterall, I was married to that woman for 35 years!!!
Hunt Hard,

Kill Swiftly,

Waste Nothing,

Offer No Apologies.....

>>>--------------------------------->
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scottflesher
 
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Location: SE Ohio

Re: Joke of the Day

Postby scottflesher » Fri Feb 17, 2012 5:21 pm

Not really jokes but a funny one liners.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.



Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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