Joke of the Day

[Woods Walker]

A blond lady had always wanted a pair of alligator shoes, from ever since she was a young girl.
 
She had to take a business trip to Louisiana, and she thought that this would be as good chance to get a pair, as Louisiana is full of alligators.
 
When she had some free time one day, she went to a sporting goods store, and asked the man who owned it what a good gun for alligators would be, because she wanted to hunt them. He sold her a 12 gauge and some slugs, and then asked him where to find an alligator.
 
"Well", he said, "If you head out of town about a half mile, there's a big levee, and on the other side is swampland. You should find some there."
 
She thanked him and left.
 
Later on after he closed, he wondered how she was doing, so he drove out the way he told her to go. Sure enough, there was her car parked at the levee. He parked his car, and walked up over the levee. As he started down the other side, he heard two quick shots. He hurried down the levee, and soon he saw FIVE  big gators laying on the bank!  As he got to the water's edge, he saw the blond woman dragging yet another big gator up on the shore. She turned the gator over and yelled out,
 
"DAMMIT! THIS one's not wearing any shoes either!!!"

[OHhunter]

Never Choke in a Restaurant in the South!
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat,
they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich,
begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that
she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,
'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress,
yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt
cheek a lick with his tongue.The woman is so shocked that
she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick
Maneuver'
but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

[Patriot]

....blond deer food plot....

[Archery_NUT]

Locked Out of Car

Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

[Archery_NUT]

here is another one and i think it is hilarious!!!




Planning a War

President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"

The barman says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III."

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?" "Why kill a blonde with big tits?"

Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

[reeper0697]

[font=arial][font="times new roman"][size=100]A blonde and a brunette are sitting in a bar and watching the 11:00 P.M. news.
A man is standing on the ledge of a high-rise building, contemplating to jump.

The brunette says to the blonde: "I'll bet you $20.00 that the man jumps off
that building."[/font][/size][/font]
[font=arial][font="times new roman"][size=100]The blonde thinks for a moment then
replies: "OK, you're on!" They watch for a few minutes and sure enough,
the man jumps off the ledge.

The blonde sighs and reaches for her wallet, but the brunette stops her,
saying: "I can't take your money - I feel too guilty. I have to confess that
I watched the 6:00 P.M. news this evening and I knew that the man would
jump.

The blonde replied: "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again"[/font][/size][/font]

[OHhunter]

> > A blonde city girl marries a Texas rancher.
> >
> > One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy,
> > 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today.
> > I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'
> >
> > The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn.
> >
> > They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him. 'This is the one right here.'
> >
> > The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know this is the cow to be bred?'
> >
> > 'That's simple. By the nail over its stall,' Amy explains very confidently.
> >
> > Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'
> >
> > The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, 'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'
> >
> > ('Chalk up one for the Blonde!' . . It's nice to see a blonde winning one once in awhile.

[paulie]

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[paulie]

Sorry but, I have tried (more than once) to copy and paste pics here, and they wont show up[:@]!! What am I doing wrong????

[Goose]

Sorry to be the party pooper but please keep it clean and watch the language even if it is asterisked out.
Thank you