Joke of the Day

[Woods Walker]

When he took office, that was the first day of an Obama-nation!

Yes, and now we've about hit "Barack"-bottom!

[kellory]

Now, if we just survive long enough to vote....

[kellory]

[kellory]

Bin Ladin dies, and goes to his reward, and is met by George Washington! Goerge says"boy, I have been waiting for you! " and promptly punches him in the face. Thomas Jefferson says "Wait, leave some for me!" and punches him again! Robert E. Lee stomps over and demands to be let into the fray, followed by Patric Henry and William H Harrison! Then James Madison and James Monreo as well! Behind them are a lot of other guys and they are all grinning like fools! Goerge says" Ain't my problem your prophet can't spell.........IT'S VIRGINIANS WAITING FOR YOU, NOT VIRGINS!"

[woodsalta]

A blind guy is in the local Walmart. He is walking up and down the asiles with his guiding cane and starts smashing merchandise on the shelves. Hearing the racket he was making a store empolyee walks over to him and asks "can I help you?" to which the blind guys answers, "Nope, just looking around!"


Q: Why don't blind people go skydiving?
A: Beacuse it scares the crap out of their dogs!

[kellory]

Same blind guy is waiting to cross the street. His dog lifts his leg and wets down the entire side of this man's pants! Blind man calmly reaches into his pocket and retrieves a dog bisket! woman standing next to him saw the whole thing, and exclaimes " Don't reward him when he does bad stuff like that it just teaches him bad lessons!" The blind man says " the lessons are about to begin, I just needed to know which end to beat the crap out of!"

[kellory]

You heard that Congress has been busy lately? They repealed the law of Gravity! From nom on, the world sucks!

[woodsalta]

A woman wakes up to find her husband crying softly on the edge of the bed. She asks him what is wrong. He says "Do you remember 20 years ago when you father caught us and shoved a shotgun in my face and told me that if I didn't marry you that he would call the police and I would get 20 years in jail." She says "I sure do, but why are you crying?" He looks at her and says "Today would have been my release day"

[kellory]

A busy woman decided she had no time to date, but wanted a man in her life, so she placed an ad asking men to stop by and apply in person for the job of "perfect lover". One day the bell rang and she answered the door to find a quadraplegic laying on her door mat. He had come about her ad! "What makes you think that you are my perfect lover?" she asked. he answered, "I rang the bell didn't I?"

[Woods Walker]

This blond woman was having trouble with her car. She took it to a repair shop to have it looked at.

She came back later and asked the mechanic if it was a big deal to fix.

"No big deal", he said, "Just crap in the carbeurator."

The blond looked at him and asked........."So how often do I have to do that?"