Advice Needed (Warning: Gross)

[gltomp]

I've been reading these posts with great interest and laughing my funny bone off.  JPH... let us know if you connect with a nice deer on your morning stand.
 
Even though you found the right stuff to help you... what helps me is 2 tps. of Benefiber in my first cup of coffee each morning... 20 minutes later... I'm good to go [HUNTING]!

[Robert Rowland]

How do the guys that use the Heater Body Suit handle gas?
The only escape point would be around their face.

[Woods Walker]

I think that someone ought to come out with a giant sized camo candle that a hunter could take in the woods with him and light after he polluted the immediate area with his methane gas. Kinda like what some folks have in their bathrooms. The candle could be like those little "Pine Tree" air fresheners that they sell for cars.
 
You could even use the match as described above to light it with. That would make it dual purpose. Just make sure you REMOVE the match before you light it!!!  [:D]

[Woods Walker]

ORIGINAL: Robert Rowland

How do the guys that use the Heater Body Suit handle gas?
The only escape point would be around their face.

 
That was the worst thing about fishing or duck hunting in chest waders. I read that many smart fishermen wore a belt around their waist on the outside of their chest waders, so that if they fell in the waders wouldn't fill with water and drag them down. I tried that, and soon realized that was not the real reason. The real reason was to keep all those noxious gases contained so you wouldn't singe your nose hairs and eyebrows!  All you had to do then was just make sure you took a REALLY deep breath before you undid the belt at the end of the day!

[vipertech]

I can totally see a Darwin award coming out of this thread!!!  LMAO!!

"Man's rectum explodes while attempting to use a lit, Vaseline coated match to induce a bowel movement."

[JPH]

Rectum? Hell, damn near killed 'em!

[jacannon63]

There is way more information on this thread than I needed to know.[:D]

[Gafrage]

I'm not going to lie.  There have been a few times that I have been walking towards my stand in the morning, and I have to turn around, and go back to the bathroom.  I don't eat breakfast when I'm hunting, I usually sleep in as long as I can, so I can stay awake and in the woods longer.  I pack a lunch and bring it with me, usually an Apple, some sort of candy bar, a sandwich and some sort of drink (usually a twist top to minimize noise).  I do try to eat as much fiber the night before. 

I think my situation has somewhat been resolved.  The less beer I drink the week before I hunt, the more regular(fewer and basically certain times of the day) my bowel movements are.  I try to eat well rounded meals that whole week too.  Yes, that means I do have vegetables.  O_o. 

It seems to me that the more I eat in the morning, the worse the situation is for me.  I do always bring toilet paper with me, whether it be in my bird vest, camo clothes, or blaze orange clothes.  Even my Trout fishing vest.  I've learned the hard way, that it's not always easy to tell what is poisonous and what is not  [:@].  It's much more comfortable knowing that you have toilet paper with you.

I'm no doctor, but I've gone to school as long as some that have that title.  Fiber is a good start, and coffee is a good idea as well.  I wouldn't stop there though.  Maybe ask your doctor.

Stay away from beans, pistachio nuts, your liquid diet and soups. 

[Robert Rowland]

. It's much more comfortable knowing that you have toilet paper with you.

ORIGINAL: Gafrage

I'm not going to lie.  There have been a few times that I have been walking towards my stand in the morning, and I have to turn around, and go back to the bathroom.  I don't eat breakfast when I'm hunting, I usually sleep in as long as I can, so I can stay awake and in the woods longer.  I pack a lunch and bring it with me, usually an Apple, some sort of candy bar, a sandwich and some sort of drink (usually a twist top to minimize noise).  I do try to eat as much fiber the night before. 

I think my situation has somewhat been resolved.  The less beer I drink the week before I hunt, the more regular(fewer and basically certain times of the day) my bowel movements are.  I try to eat well rounded meals that whole week too.  Yes, that means I do have vegetables.  O_o. 

It seems to me that the more I eat in the morning, the worse the situation is for me.  I do always bring toilet paper with me, whether it be in my bird vest, camo clothes, or blaze orange clothes.  Even my Trout fishing vest.  I've learned the hard way, that it's not always easy to tell what is poisonous and what is not  [:@].  It's much more comfortable knowing that you have toilet paper with you.

I'm no doctor, but I've gone to school as long as some that have that title.  Fiber is a good start, and coffee is a good idea as well.  I wouldn't stop there though.  Maybe ask your doctor.

Stay away from beans, pistachio nuts, your liquid diet and soups. 

I was sitting on stand once when the feeling hit hard and I realized that I did not have any toilet paper and there was really nothing on the forest floor to use.  I climbed down and headed for the truck which was about a 15 min quick walk. Before I could get to the truck I had to stop and get some business taken care of. I ended up sacraficing one of my socks for lack of anything else to use. I was close enough to the road that my brother-in-law drove by and saw me leaning against the tree where I had stopped, He has never let me forget it either.[:D]

[Dave]

I love this forum...I thought I was the only one that worried about stinking up the woods. This is a little hard to do but I found it works for me. Eat a light dinner the night before hunting. On the morning of the hunt don't eat or drink ANYTHING! Take a peanutbutter sandwich and a bottle of water with you. Eat the sandwich at lunch time and take a few drinks of water through out the day. I've found I can sit in the stand most all day long if I follow this.