Ok, I admit it. I’m drunk. Stoned. Wasted. Tipsy. Inebriated. Schnookered. Zombied. Ozzylike. Hopelessly out of control and staggering aimlessly like a lost soul with no direction known.
I am well into October and my ponytail has been erect since the early 60s. That’s the 1960s, not my 60s! (It’s all perfectly legal so everyone take a nice deep breath, h-o-l-d it! Exhale! Relax. Ok. Feel better? Onward.)
Well, but not schnookered in a bad way of course. This natural, pure predatorship boogie is how I have always gotten high. No drugs, no alcohol, no tobacco, and no fat girlfriends. I’m tellin ya, that stuff will kill you!
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO TED’S EPIC HUNTING ANTHEM SPIRIT OF THE WILD
Here it is, my 100 and something hunting day for 2013, including all the bear hunting, turkey hunting, varmint hunting, hog whacking, smallgame slamming, and dove pounding, and I just came in from another hair raising, over the top stimulating morning in a Texas tree with my trusty bow and arrow, higher than a kite on those ever loving dynamo healing powers of Ma Nature and all her sensual hammerjacking beauty.
Not only did I kill three skunks on the way to my stand in the dark, which would be more than enough to make a damn near perfect day, but I was once again surrounded by stunning birdlife and song galore, battling crows and hawks and owls, distant train whistles and the nonstop thumping of dropping acorns everywhere.
I had run and fed the Labradors and fired off a volley of practice arrows from my Mathews just to get the eyes and triggerfinger right, before I motored my Polaris into the Texas scrublands. Texas is so beautiful cuz it’s legal to have a loaded shotgun (machinegun too) and kill all the environment/habitat/agriculture destroying pests. I was able to destroy three black and white vandals of the wild right off the bat so was feeling very green as I climbed into my stand.
It was a rare and perfect dark overcast morning, so I felt comfortable hitting an East facing ambush with the southeast wind in my face. Ace SpiritWild VidCamDude Kris Helms sat statuesque next to me for the entire deerless three hours until boredom and frustration took their toll.
One of our maniac spooky does blew at us for a while early on and I’m certain she alerted every creature within miles to our sneaky attempt to fool them. And when I say bored and frustrated, we must keep that in perspective, because I’m sure we all agree that the worst time in a deerstand is better than the best time pretty much anywhere else, so hence the inebriated sensations of loving every heart kranking minute of it all.
We got down and investigated the 100s and 100s of Live Oak trees on the property, and determined that upwards of 90% were gushing deercandy. Many of the oaks were loaded with acorns in various stages of development, telling me that we had many months of God’s ultimate bait coming and covering the entire ranch. Every inch of our entire SpiritWild Ranch would qualify as the ultimate habitat, the ultimate sanctuary and the ultimate food source, thereby eliminating any hope to pattern deer movement.
Time to act like a US Marine Corp commando and improvise, adapt and overcome. Identifying the best acorn trees currently dropping mast, we headed home to get a bite, do some chores and prepare to set up new ladderstands in hopes to roll the dice and maybe pick the deer’s favorite candystore.
Point is, never give up. Never say never, and never quit.
With unlimited mast, exploding foodplots and the growth of ripe, tender, green winter grasses, forbs, herbs and various fresh vegetation, a bowhunter has his work cut out for him, and of course that is why we crave this stuff like we do.
I will not miss a single morning or a single afternoon. My ultimate high comes from a beautiful arrow on a critter and the rewards of precious backstraps and spiritual protein.
Good hunting to you all. Don’t give up. Improvise, adapt and overcome. Invite a newcomer to experience the sensual stimuli that is our predatorship perfection, and I will see you here next week with more intoxicants of the wild. Come visit us at tednugent.com and join us at TalkBack. The spirit never sleeps! BloodBrothers,
For more Ted go to TedNugent.com
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October 22!
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